I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
