is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Your penis caused this!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
