***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just threw up on my dentist
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
