Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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