i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
