I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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