kristin has been a bad kristin
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
