that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
