Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
