this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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