i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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