i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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