Betty ford says i'm here all night
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
