Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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