when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i already hear my dad disowning me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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