I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
