chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
