Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
