I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize