literally had 100 drinks last night.
Where is the hickey?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
