are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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