she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
