So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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