thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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