so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
