you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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