its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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