69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
