And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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