is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
