Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
