remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
