its not stalking. its research.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
