sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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