I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
