Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
