I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize