you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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