That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
