Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
