Got a toothbrush?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
