My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
