Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
