What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's shark week go big or go home
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
