He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize