I want to have your abortion
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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