i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
