I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
