my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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