Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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