Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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