Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
