haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
