I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize