I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
