have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
what the fuck happened to the tacos
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
