I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize