Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My breasts were aching with rage.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
