Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
