may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Still dying that you shit outside
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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