No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
