I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She announced her abortion via fbk
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize