Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
operation have a gay friend backfired
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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