so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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