Christians are straight up FREAKS
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
