I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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