Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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