I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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