This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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