haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The best revenge is premature balding
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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