you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize