The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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